Freaky Florida Friday Features

Hey gang, let's all watch two extreme low-budget exploitation movies made by weirdos in Florida!

Our First Feature: Blood Freak (1972)

Yes, THE one and only Blood Freak. We've all seen it before, I know. But on the off-chance that you haven't, then you'll need to leave this blog now. Really, if you're over the age of, say, 25, and you haven't yet seen Blood Freak then get out, I don't want you around here no more.

Now that we've separated the wheat from the chaff, just here to let you know that it's on youtube, so you don't have to rent the DVD from Netflix for the fifth time. This, arguably the greatest of all anti-marijuana, pro-religion, turkey-mutant movies to come out of Florida in the early 70's continues to enthrall over multiple viewings. Some may be offended by the fact that it briefly shows real-life turkey-cide, but so does your Thanksgiving dinner.

Because of this, I can't think of a more appropriate film to screen for your extended family during this upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. I tried with my relatives a few years ago, but they didn't go for it. Doesn't mean you shouldn't give it a shot, though. Worth the effort. Just tell them it's about Jesus.

Our Second Feature: Satan's Children (1974)

Shot under such budget limitations as to make Blood Freak look like an A-picture, this somewhat less family-friendly and considerably more arduous film to sit through will reward the patient.

It moves slower than ant-baiting syrup most of the time, but the Florida ambiance is a big reason to stay tuned. You could almost feel the sweat and smell the mildew emanating from the screen. Plus it's outrageously amoral and hugely homophobic to a laughable degree. I'll just quote some IMDB comments to better describe what I'm having a hard time putting into words myself:

"Sensationally sick, twisted and depraved low-budget 70's drive-in horror flick. The stark, no-frills style of the picture adds an immediacy to the warped proceedings that's both skin-crawlingly creepy and strangely compelling in comparable measure."

"I thoroughly enjoyed this movie because it was so unlike anything I've ever seen. I loved the weird looking people who star in this, especially the main guy, a red haired skinny kid who looks like he should be in a 70's stoner band. His step sister looks like a cartoon character. Sherry has strange teeth and a evil glare that reminds me of a girl I knew in kindergarten."

"The ending (is) even more offensive than everything before it, but its a reasonably effective and nihilistic endnote. A very bizarre conclusion to a very bizarre film.
Satan's Children is politically incorrect like few other films manage to be, but its a uniquely disorienting experience."

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