It's official: Hitler really did have monorchism. A long-lost testimony from the surgeon who treated his WW1 groin injury has surfaced, and it confirms his sorry situation. Read the details here, and a more entertaining tabloid slant on the story here. Both of the articles mention the popular song about the subject, based on the melody from the "Colonel Bogey March". I was taught a variation on the tune way back when I was a lad, and it's still my favorite for bringing "il duce" into the formula:Hitler has only got one ball
Goerring has two but they are small
Himmler has something similar
but Mussolini has no balls at all
I also have a couple different ideas for screenplays:
- you've probably heard this urban legend. Move the setting to WW1. Show Hitler taking a bullet through the scrotum, which then impregnates a battlefield nurse. The kid is born, discovers his lineage, and follows in his father's footsteps and succeeds in taking over the world. Since he'd have to be born in 1916, it would be "alternative history" set in the 50's or 60's. Still making casting decisions, so email your headshot (jpeg or pdf only) to schutzstaffel-scrote@stexeweb.com.
-"They Saved Hitler's Nut". The surgeon kept the testicle alive, and it survives into the present day. It gets transplanted into Lance Armstrong (so he can have a full set once again), but it takes over his mind. He gets all Hitlered out, then goes and invades Poland. A friend suggested an alternate title: "Neo-Nazi Nutsack".
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