Futurechimp Theater: Halloween Safety

Part 1:



Part 2:



(originally referred by pizzateen)

Scary Life-Size Monster Ghost

Like some sort of wonderful, impossible dream, you can still buy this item here, and it seems to be the original stock from way back when, not a reissue. The same company also sells "The Haunting" records, and -holy shit- the "Monster S-I-Z-E Monsters"! Relive the greatest disappointments of your childhood, only for a lot more money!

This video, made by some dorky narcissist, is "cute" in all the worst possible ways. But unlike myself, he has firsthand experience with the monster ghost and is able to reveal its secrets:

Horrifying! Exciting! Thrilling!

This ad dates back to circa 1970, making it a little before my time. But I do remember fixating on it when I was six or seven, wanting to mail in the form with my dollar, only to be informed by my mother that the book was several years old (probably from a garage sale, where I got most comics), and the Monster Fan Club was most likely defunct by that time. How can any kid not be amazed by the possibilities? You get 12 photos, a membership card, three monster masks, and, of course, the Life-Size Moon Monster.

Thanks to the magic of the internet, we can now see what we were missing all those years ago. Here's your membership card:



Here are your photos:



Here are your masks, which were nothing more than black and white photographs of masks, printed on plain old typewriter paper:



Hold on tight. Here's your Moon Monster (click to enlarge):



It was printed on two loose sheets of 2 x 3' paper. They've been known to occasionally show up on ebay, in case you need to make up for any childhood abandonment issues.

Thanks to this blog for some of the images.

And yes, we'll be preoccupied with this sort of thing until Halloween, so if you want to read anything new about chimps, electronic music, or cryptozoology, come back next week.

Futurechimp Theater: Meat

Fembot Frenzy

Our Mr. Sun

Futurechimp Theater: Marijuana

    

Something to do with Chimps

My brother and I are hoping to break into show business, so we recorded a single. It's a cover of "N.I.B." from Black Sabbath's debut album. My brother (Gunner Nelson) played bass and sang. I (Matthew Nelson) played drums, guitar and moog synthesizer. It was all recorded in one sitting, in four takes.

We're still undecided on a band name. Some possibilities are "Skinny Guppy", "Meet n' Greet Manifesto","Nayslayer", and "Twisted Spritzer". Please email with any additional suggestions.