The fantasies which these ads foster are (like all ads, I suppose)far more compelling than the heartaching reality which accompanies the acquisition of an actual product. The Master Key set, for example, really sets the imagination in motion; as a kid, I would have seen myself gaining access to lost or forbidden rooms filled with loot, secrets, and dirty magazines.
Yes, Johnson Smith is the House of Broken Dreams. But that looks to me like an authentic lock-picking set, which, despite the ad's recommendation of using it to pick the locks in your own home, seems designed for skullduggery. The same catalog sells a book on how to mix your own explosives, which you can use for breaking and entering in case the key set doesn't allow access to your neighbor's house.
Once again I feel compelled to make note here of the recent stunning achievements of the Axtell Corporation. Their wireless remote controlled chimp ventriloquist doll manages to combine several of these age old tropes into one high tech super gag. Modern technology has finally caught up with the needs and desires of the childish prankster in all of us. I have on good authority the next generation of this cimpatomata will be equipped with a lung mechanism for smoking chimp gags (see previous post). No word yet if future versions of this embryonic precursor to our eventual robot chimp overlords will have the ability to see through water, turn black and white TV to color, or make nekkid mermaids turn invisible-- All admirable (if not rather useless) abilities to be for sure.
The Axtell Chimp suffers from "cute overload". It looks like something a party clown would own, or a puppeteer (two types of people I try to stay far away from). Besides, it costs over $4000. I'm way more impressed with the $100 "Chimp Alive" animatronic severed chimp head, which incorporates motion and touch sensors and has a realistic appearance. It also looks like the sort of thing that may bite you if you make it angry.
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The fantasies which these ads foster are (like all ads, I suppose)far more compelling than the heartaching reality which accompanies the acquisition of an actual product. The Master Key set, for example, really sets the imagination in motion; as a kid, I would have seen myself gaining access to lost or forbidden rooms filled with loot, secrets, and dirty magazines.
Yes, Johnson Smith is the House of Broken Dreams. But that looks to me like an authentic lock-picking set, which, despite the ad's recommendation of using it to pick the locks in your own home, seems designed for skullduggery. The same catalog sells a book on how to mix your own explosives, which you can use for breaking and entering in case the key set doesn't allow access to your neighbor's house.
Once again I feel compelled to make note here of the recent stunning achievements of the Axtell Corporation. Their wireless remote controlled chimp ventriloquist doll manages to combine several of these age old tropes into one high tech super gag. Modern technology has finally caught up with the needs and desires of the childish prankster in all of us. I have on good authority the next generation of this cimpatomata will be equipped with a lung mechanism for smoking chimp gags (see previous post). No word yet if future versions of this embryonic precursor to our eventual robot chimp overlords will have the ability to see through water, turn black and white TV to color, or make nekkid mermaids turn invisible-- All admirable (if not rather useless) abilities to be for sure.
The Axtell Chimp suffers from "cute overload". It looks like something a party clown would own, or a puppeteer (two types of people I try to stay far away from). Besides, it costs over $4000. I'm way more impressed with the $100 "Chimp Alive" animatronic severed chimp head, which incorporates motion and touch sensors and has a realistic appearance. It also looks like the sort of thing that may bite you if you make it angry.
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