Auction Pick: Trag-U-Tee

From Mego's beloved 1977 "One Million B.C." figure line (no relation to the movie), here's your chance to purchase a "Trag" figure who has magically become disembodied from his legs while remaining in M.O.C. (mint on card) condition. The seller notes:

"vintage one million bc action figure trag mint on unopened card,apparently his legs came loose while on the card??? thats the only thing i can come up with.i dont know if the legs pop back on or if their broke..... NO RESERVE!!"

Is it skullduggery? Or an omen? As of this writing, you have 52 hours to make up your monkey mind and place your bid, you pea-brained neanderthal. Do it HERE.

And if you're in luck, maybe the other members of the family will someday show up on ebay as well. To complete the set you'll need Grok, Orm, Mada and Zon:

Each of them comes with a lo-rez foam rubber "spear", which has a magnet glued onto one end. Use your figure's metal-implanted hand to hold the spear, and activiate the throwing action by means of the lever on the back:


Hurl it towards your arch-nemesis, the T-Rex. Take heed of the tiny metal plate in his chest and aim carefully! Grrr!

While I'm on the subject of other 1970's cavemen besides Joe Cocker, anyone remember this? It's a little before my time:



Looks pretty highbrow for a Hanna-Barbera Saturday morning show, and it was narrated like a nature documentary. According to Wikipedia,

Korg 70,000 B.C. featured the adventures of a family of Neanderthals during the Ice Age. It was intended to be educational, and was based on the best current research about Neanderthal life, except where it had to be watered down for a young audience.

Unavailable commercially, but this guy has a couple episodes on DVD-R. Watch it while wearing your other ebay purchase, a Korg 70,000 B.C. Ben Cooper Costume.

This is Historama

In the tiny historical town of Tombstone, Arizona, the Multimedia Technological Wonder known as Historama has been thrilling audiences since 1964 (the year American culture peaked, in this author's opinion). It can most easily be described as a lump of paper mache, about 12 ft. in diameter at its base and not unlike that baking-soda-and-vinegar volcano you made as a kid. It sits on a motorized turntable and contains animatronic elements. The whole 25-minute show is automated, and synced to narration by Vincent Price (an odd choice for the subject matter).

There are five different scale dioramas on the lump, designed in a very forced perspective to make best of the short depth and tall height. Little mechanical elements bring the events to life. They even depict the murders of Virgil and Morgan Earp (Wyatt's brothers) in the aftermath of the O.K. Corral, shot down in an alley and flopping over on a pool table. It's incredible.


In between sets, a movie screen lowers to show a video projection of reenactments. I personally find this disruptive, but it hides the lump while it rotates for the next scene. It's also very informative. This little video I shot includes the grand finale, wherin the lump does a 360-degree pirouette while the movie screen butts in:



A show this old can't help but make us wonder how it's all built. It must've used a 16mm film projector in the early 60's. And was it all audio-animatronic (which had just been invented around the time this attraction opened), or something simpler? And how did an actor of Vincent's caliber end up narrating this silly tourist trap? (the answer to that is known; he was a friend of the owner). Virtually unchanged in 45 years, the Historama is a Paleo-AV dream destination.

Bonus! The O.K. Corral in 3D (click to enlarge):

Mehr Samstag Krautrock

Amon Düül II - "Between The Eyes"



Tangerine Dream - "Coventry Cathedral"



NEU! - "Hallogallo"



The Monks - TV Performance, 1966

Native America Wishes You A Bountiful Thanksgiving

Drug PSA's are dangerous to your health

Youtube's 3D Channel

Youtube has finally caught up with mid-20th century technology and launched a channel just for 3D.

The interesting part is, they'll do the conversion for you. Just shoot something with two video cameras, upload them to the site, and they'll do the rest. When viewing you can choose different formats, including the "cross-eyed" method which has never worked for me, and the traditional anaglyph method for proud owners of glasses like us. Check it out:

YOUTUBE in 3D

None of the videos are embeddable. An impressive starting point might be this one.

Terror at The Drive-In

More SaturKraut

Until further notice, Saturday is Krautmusik day on Futurechimp.com.

Can - "Mushroom"



Klaus Schulze- Live Untitled TV Performance, 1977:



Kraftwerk - "Tanzmusik"



Popol Vuh - "Bettina"

The Art of Etsy

I haven't been selling things on Etsy.com for very long, but so far it has treated me well. I was featured on one of their "editor's picks" mailers, and have done almost $200 in sales in the last few weeks. Not bad, considering that it's the only way I've sold anything through the internet, which includes this stupid blog of mine.

So in the spirit of free enterprise, I thought I'd highlight the work of other Etsy sellers. These are all two-dimensional paintings and drawings that have already been featured on Regretsy.com, a "worst of Etsy" blog that you're probably familiar with already, but is new to me since I'm always late to the party. Out of respect for that blog, I'm only including quotes from the artists themselves on their original Etsy pages. Click the images to go to the sellers' stores:

"Original Acrylic Bird Man Painting"
$95
"In my paintings I love depicting people and animals. Well, this one has a little of both... It has to do with setting your appropriate boundaries."

"The Belly Button Witch"
$40
"I dreamed of this one night and woke up in a dead sweat. I dont know what it means but felt compelled to put it to canvas. This woman like creature just walked up told a man to lift his shirt grabbed his belly button in her teeth and ripped it from his abdomen. While blood was spilling out of him she just sat there holding it in her teeth. This comes as a 16x20 inch acrylic that has been glazed for durablity."

"Nazi Killer 2"
$10
"Acrylic paint on broken skateboard. I HATE NAZI SKINHEADS!"

"She's Got Big Tits"
$50
"signed limited edition Epson Print (out of 50), 8 1/2" by 11" on matte Epson paper"

"Kitten Head on Amputee"
$99,000
"The series of cat heads is a superimposition of a soft, cute image on top of images of violence, removing any visual expression of violence from the face of the subject. The few times people have seen these they usually completely focus on the soft aspect. The usual reaction is "Oh, how cute!", even in an over-serious academic environment. The series is meant to depict the inability to perceive or understand the violence of a society because of previous and mostly visual association with visual aspects of benevolence."

New Ribbon Synth

This is a Gakken SX-150 circuit (retail cost: about $50) which has been surgically grafted onto a ribbon controller (500mm Softpot from Trossen Robotics). I also replaced the batteries with a DC transformer, stepped up the audio output to 1/4", changed out the cheap plastic sliders with shiny toggle switches, and finished it out with a super-bright green LED and packaged it in a plexiglass case. I'm playing it here with a volume footpedal, and providing accompaniment on the Moog Source.

Faces of Death

Oh, don't be so offended. It isn't a "snuff" film. It's a badly faked mondo film, and a funny one at that.

Granted, there are a few scenes of actual human death (the political assassination, the bouncing skydiver, the movie stunt gone wrong) but those are bloodless and benign, and the rest of the movie is clearly, obviously fake. There is plenty of animal death depicted (a staple of mondo movies), but it doesn't constitute "animal cruelty" in the conventional sense, due to the fact that it's footage of slaughterhouses. Meat-eaters should have no problem with it. I would argue that footage to be of value, actually. But for laughs, it doesn't compare to the monkey brain dinner, about 20 minutes in (which is fake).

These days, you can go online and watch a video of Saddam Hussein being executed, Steve Irwin getting a Stingray tail in his heart, or that poor girl in Tehran bleeding to death. I've seen none of those, and don't plan to in the future. It's hard to imagine why anyone would. But I have no problem with phony huckster movies like this one.

For more about this ridiculous series, and info about the new Blu-Ray release, get your death on at - where else - facesofdeath.com, yo.

Mazes and Monsters

This commercial was on the air around the time I was playing Dungeons and Dragons, between the sixth and eighth grades. And I know I mentioned it in yesterday's post, but that isn't what inspired me to post about it. This morning, Boingboing.net happened to showcase this Canadian news magazine piece, also from the 80's:



(part two)


It's very much a part of the Reagan zeitgeist: parents were told to be afraid of the things their children were imagining they were doing. Kids have no business indulging their creativity. No good can come of it.

After all, remember what happened to little Tommy Hanks in Mazes and Monsters:

Viewer Mail

Submitted for my consideration, which I now submit for yours: Nude Dino-Wedding.

Berwyn: Art Mecca

I grew up a block away from Berwyn, a lower-middle class, blue-collar suburb bordering the West side of Chicago which was populated largely by Eastern European immigrants. Not the sort of place where you'd find much of an art community. The nearest shopping center was Cermak Plaza, which contained no-frills practical stores like Sears, Woolworth's and Service Merchandise. The most esoteric retailer was the hobby shop where I'd go to buy model rocket kits and Dungeons and Dragons modules.

So it was quite a shock to see this ugly heap of concrete and trash erected in 1980:


This atrocious Nazi hate-crime tainted my childhood. It's so hideous, I couldn't even find a color photo on the internet. Sitting right alongside Harlem avenue (a major thoroughfare), but just inside the parking lot, the sculpture was named "Big Bil-Bored", making the title just as stupid and arbitrary as the object itself.

Right away, Berwyn residents started complaining. But there was little they could do; Cermak Plaza was privately owned by David Bermant, who paid $25,000 for the unsightly behemoth. Its creator, Nancy Rubins (she's gone on to do some okay work; she has a piece permanently installed in the courtyard of the Los Angeles Museum of Contemporary Art) specifically said it could never be moved.

Bermant felt he had a winner on his hands, and ignored all the protests. Even ten years later, local politicians were trying to get it torn down. In 1990, a referendum was held to check on public opinion. 6,379 over 1,662 were in favor of trashing the trash-heap. But Bermant said that only 20% of Berwyn was represented. And besides, non-Berwyn residents visited the shopping center as well.

Finally, mercifully, Big Bil-Bored was torn down in 1993 for safety reasons. There were concerns that the metal in the sculpture (consumer items like fans and bicycles) would rust away and compromise the structural integrity.

But I always appreciated Cermak Plaza, because Bermant followed up "Big Bil-Bored" with loads of other sculptures, scattered throughout the parking lot. Just outside the Woolworth's was a clock by George Rhodes similar to this one:



Then there was this Burning Man-ish interactive sculpture that you could play with included mallets:



And of course, "Spindle" by by Dustin Shuler (we just called it the "Car-Kebab"):


If you do a Google image search of just the word "Berwyn", most of your results will be pictures of this thing. Therefore, the Car-Kebab IS Berwyn.

Or I should say "was". It was torn down a couple years ago to make way for a Walgreen's:



I don't respect the decision, but I'm very thankful for Cermak Plaza. They took a parking lot in a rundown neighborhood, and used it to give something back to the community, albeit in an eccentric, impractical way. And it's privately funded, as all art should be.

Thanks to this site for some of the pictures and info.

VD Attack Plan

(part two is here)

Saturday Morning Krautoons

Krautrock: The Rebirth of Germany is a recent BBC four documentary on German Prog. An hour long, it's a third the length of Kraftwerk and the Electronic Revolution and better produced. Highly recommended.

When Good Guys Turn Bad

truncated from the LA Times:

A Spider-Man impersonator was arrested on outstanding criminal warrants Wednesday after an incident in which he allegedly slugged a man near the Hollywood & Highland complex. It's the latest in a string of incidents involving movie characters and celebrity look-alikes who vie for space -- and attention -- along the tourist-filled corridor that includes Grauman's Chinese Theatre.

The incident began when Los Angeles Police Department patrol officers received a radio call reporting battery by a man in a Spider-Man costume. When they arrived, they encountered four people dressed as the web-slinging crusader. "They stopped one, it wasn't him," said LAPD Lt. Beverly Lewis. "They stopped the second, and it was the suspect."

Costumed impersonators portraying the likes of Elvis, Superman, SpongeBob SquarePants and others have worked on Hollywood Boulevard for years. They collect tips from tourists by posing for pictures or performing in front of the theater. But sometimes the fun has turned violent. Tourists have complained that some costumed characters become abusive when the tourists refuse to pay them to pose for pictures. There have also been brawls. Two years ago, authorities convened a "superhero summit" designed to reduce tensions among the performers.

The meeting was prompted in part by an incident in which LAPD officers arrested a "Star Wars" street performer in his furry brown Chewbacca costume for allegedly head-butting a tour guide who complained about the impersonator's treatment of Japanese tourists.

In other incidents, actors dressed as the superhero Mr. Incredible, Elmo the Muppet and the dark-hooded character from the movie "Scream" were arrested for aggressive begging. A man dressed as the horror film character Freddy Krueger was also taken into custody for allegedly stabbing someone...

With Edward G. Robinson as Dr Zaius

This short promo and makeup test was made to pitch the Planet of the Apes movie to studio executives. Chuck Heston put 100% into his performance, as always, but Edward G. Robinson must've realized he looked like an idiot in the Orangutan makeup, because he dropped out soon after.

The conceptual storyboards in the first three minutes show the movie as Rod Serling originally intended, with the apes flying around in helicopters and living in ultra-modern cities, but the budget didn't allow that. So they ended up shooting at Fox Ranch instead.

at the five-minute mark we see the appearance of the "chimps", Cornelius (James Brolin) and Zira (Linda Harrison, who would get bumped down to the role of superhot cavegirl Nova in the finished film).

I'm guessing this post isn't for everyone; even if you're a huge PoTA fan, you have to admit it's slow moving. In lieu, here's a slideshow of Nova. It's silent, so I've added a little tune:

Animatronic Cylons

I visited Universal Studios in Hollywood with my family in June of 1980, around my 11th birthday. The two big attractions at the time were "Battle for Galactica" and "Castle Dracula", both of which made a big impression on me, in a "this is thematically crappy but technically impressive" sort of way.

So this demo reel for the animatronics shop that created the robots for the park is quite a treat. They have a creep-tastic skinned cyborg as their logo, and the early 80's video effects are pretty charming.



Here's a more complete video of the thrilling 2-minute ride-through for "Battle of Galactica", which only employed a single live actor:



"it's not everyday you need to be rescued from alien invaders firing laser guns".
Actually, yes it is. Everyday. For you, at least.

More than you'd ever want to know about this can be found here.

LDS8

Check out the new LDS page.

Devolution

Devo: The Men Who Make The Music was due to be released on home video in 1979 (making it one of the first music-related tapes, alongside Gary Numan's excellent Touring Principle), but Warner Brothers didn't like all the anti-corporate sentiment so they shelved it. Two years later "Whip It" was a hit, so they put it on the market. Containing homemade music videos, 1978 concert footage, and lots of oddball interludes (like this), it's their finest work, and for some reason or another it's never been re-released.

They had two albums out at the time, and as far as I'm concerned, they're the only two albums worth hearing. They weren't yet a synth-pop band, but some kind of undefinable surrealist mutant-rock collective. Some of my favorite moments:







(psst... it's hard to find due to licensing issues, but a 70's performance on a popular late-night show can be seen here)

THX 1138 4EB

George Lucas made this short film while a student at USC. Based upon its merits, he got funding from Francis Ford "moneybags" Coppola to expand it to a full-length movie, released four years later. I'm a huge fan of the results, but as far as narrative goes, there isn't much going on to sustain a feature-length film. The same story is told in this 15-minute student film.

The real reason to see the THX movie isn't for its limited story, but for its art direction and incredible sound design (by Walter Murch, who went on to do more excellent work for The Conversation and Apocalypse Now). And the inspiration for this post is my discovery of a free album download of sound effects from THX 1138. Check it out.

Public Image ltd. 1978-1984

New 3D Gallery

I moved most of my homemade anaglyphs onto a photo account and linked them from my website. Now you can hit the link and let the automated slideshows do the rest. Also, the first two galleries contain new and improved dioramas I've photographed in the last couple weeks. Visit HERE or by clicking the picture above.

Celebrity Blow-Up

Bronze Medal - Cronenberg's iconic exploding head from Scanners:



Silver Medal - The loving tribute to Warner Brothers cartoons in Live and Let Die:



Gold Medal - John Cassavetes' breakthrough performance in The Fury:



(apologies to pizzateen)

The Dames Love A Chimp!

Dementia Five

Auction Pick: Vac-U-Form

A complete, boxed, never opened, totally cherry 1962 Mattel Vac-U-Form toy is currently up on ebay. Check it out!



There's a whole website dedicated to this device, where you can buy replacement parts and accessories. So rest easy, you can keep your machine in tip-top condition for many years to come. Place your bid HERE.

While I'm here, anyone got a Strange Change machine they want to sell me? Anyone? Spare some Strange Change?



Grow them! Crush them! Grow them! Crush them! What's The Goddamn Point?

Mr. Finlay's Feelings

It's Alive: BloodBelly Ctenophore

from wikipedia:
(Lampocteis cruentiventer) is a variety of Ctenophore (simple marine animals), commonly known as comb jelly. Despite its name, this particularly stunning comb jelly ranges in body color from deep red to pale to deep purple, sometimes black. Scientists believe that the deep color of its belly helps mask the Bloodybelly Comb Jelly's bioluminescence from potential predators.

I made a model of one of these for a natural history museum that has lighting animation inside it, but it pales in comparison to the real thing.

The Readership Revolts!
"We consider it a major oversight on your behalf that there is no alternative soundtrack... your readership has come to expect such extra attention."

Hey, I was busy. But yeah, it needs accompaniment. Try this: